How could this happen to me?

I had been injured before. I had played through the pain. But this was unlike anything else.

It’s the start of the season and I was in my element. Enjoying every minute of being back on the court. That was until the third set of our first home match on September 8th, 2015. I get thrown in the game and I am as anxious as can be. I finally get set the ball. I jump in the air ready to kill it. I make contact. and I land back on the ground.

All I will ever remember from that day is the intense popping I felt in my knee as my foot made contact with the ground. One. Two. Three pops and all I can think to do is fall backwards and scream in complete agony.

“You’re going to need your ACL repaired. You will be out for the rest of the season.”

Words I never expected to hear. Me? Needing knee surgery? But I have never had knee problems like that!

One excruciating surgery later and I am finding a new home at the physical therapists office. And I hated every minute of it. I hated the pain. I hated the crutches. I hated the scar that now covered the length of my knee on my right leg. I hated the fact that this happened to me. How could this happen to me? 

I sat at home and felt sorry for myself. And I cried. I cried out to God asking Him why He let this happen to me? And then I cried out to Him even more when I felt like He wasn’t answering me. I was angry.

I would get letters and get well soon cards with warm wishes for a “speedy recovery” and to “trust in God’s plan” but I couldn’t understand why I should trust His plan when He couldn’t even tell me why this happened in the first place?! This continued for months as I went to and from physical therapy, sat at home, watched TV, and shouted at God for letting this happen to me when things had been going so well!

I finally stopped yelling and I started grumbling. And then my grumbles turned into half-hearted prayers asking Him to take my pain away.

And then it clicked. He wanted my attention. But I had to stop running away from Him. His goal wasn’t to push me away. It was to pull me closer to Him so He could show me just how much I really needed Him. And I did..but not until Fall of last year.

I had still been having issues with my knee, had gone in for a second procedure, was still going to physical therapy, and had yet to find relief for my pain over a year later. Until one day I broke down. As tears streamed from my eyes, prayers poured out from my heart asking for God’s help. Asking for Him to heal me. Telling Him how much I needed Him.

I finally took my focus off of my pain and put it on Him. The one thing He was wanting me to do all along.

God doesn’t want us to focus on the things of this world…they are fleeting. But His kingdom is forever! Just like Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, when we focus on Him our spirit is being renewed each day even though we are growing older on the outside. We will go through trials but they are only momentary and have nothing on the eternal glory that is waiting for us! We simply have to stop focusing on ourselves and what is going with us in this world and put our focus back on God.

Now, I’m not saying that you should stop showing up to work or quit doing your homework assignments, but the emphasis we place on the newest iPhone or the cutest clothes or even the struggles that we have should be far less than the emphasis we place on God and His Kingdom. If we shift our focus, He will give us the strength to get through our troubles and He will provide our every need like Christ says in Matthew 6:33 “But first seek his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”..

I hope that my story was an encouragement for you and that you continue to seek God and His Kingdom no matter what season you may be in. Place your focus on Him and watch how your life transforms.. I would love to hear from you and how God used a difficult time in your life to pull you back to Him so make sure to leave a comment below! And don’t forget to subscribe so that you don’t miss another post!

Until next time..

Kat

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