How could this happen to me?

I had been injured before. I had played through the pain. But this was unlike anything else.

It’s the start of the season and I was in my element. Enjoying every minute of being back on the court. That was until the third set of our first home match on September 8th, 2015. I get thrown in the game and I am as anxious as can be. I finally get set the ball. I jump in the air ready to kill it. I make contact. and I land back on the ground.

All I will ever remember from that day is the intense popping I felt in my knee as my foot made contact with the ground. One. Two. Three pops and all I can think to do is fall backwards and scream in complete agony.

“You’re going to need your ACL repaired. You will be out for the rest of the season.”

Words I never expected to hear. Me? Needing knee surgery? But I have never had knee problems like that!

One excruciating surgery later and I am finding a new home at the physical therapists office. And I hated every minute of it. I hated the pain. I hated the crutches. I hated the scar that now covered the length of my knee on my right leg. I hated the fact that this happened to me. How could this happen to me? 

I sat at home and felt sorry for myself. And I cried. I cried out to God asking Him why He let this happen to me? And then I cried out to Him even more when I felt like He wasn’t answering me. I was angry.

I would get letters and get well soon cards with warm wishes for a “speedy recovery” and to “trust in God’s plan” but I couldn’t understand why I should trust His plan when He couldn’t even tell me why this happened in the first place?! This continued for months as I went to and from physical therapy, sat at home, watched TV, and shouted at God for letting this happen to me when things had been going so well!

I finally stopped yelling and I started grumbling. And then my grumbles turned into half-hearted prayers asking Him to take my pain away.

And then it clicked. He wanted my attention. But I had to stop running away from Him. His goal wasn’t to push me away. It was to pull me closer to Him so He could show me just how much I really needed Him. And I did..but not until Fall of last year.

I had still been having issues with my knee, had gone in for a second procedure, was still going to physical therapy, and had yet to find relief for my pain over a year later. Until one day I broke down. As tears streamed from my eyes, prayers poured out from my heart asking for God’s help. Asking for Him to heal me. Telling Him how much I needed Him.

I finally took my focus off of my pain and put it on Him. The one thing He was wanting me to do all along.

God doesn’t want us to focus on the things of this world…they are fleeting. But His kingdom is forever! Just like Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, when we focus on Him our spirit is being renewed each day even though we are growing older on the outside. We will go through trials but they are only momentary and have nothing on the eternal glory that is waiting for us! We simply have to stop focusing on ourselves and what is going with us in this world and put our focus back on God.

Now, I’m not saying that you should stop showing up to work or quit doing your homework assignments, but the emphasis we place on the newest iPhone or the cutest clothes or even the struggles that we have should be far less than the emphasis we place on God and His Kingdom. If we shift our focus, He will give us the strength to get through our troubles and He will provide our every need like Christ says in Matthew 6:33 “But first seek his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”..

I hope that my story was an encouragement for you and that you continue to seek God and His Kingdom no matter what season you may be in. Place your focus on Him and watch how your life transforms.. I would love to hear from you and how God used a difficult time in your life to pull you back to Him so make sure to leave a comment below! And don’t forget to subscribe so that you don’t miss another post!

Until next time..

Kat

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I thought this would be easy…

“Oh that comes so easily for me, I really don’t have to try”

I can’t even keep track of how many times I have said this very statement, and it’s multiple variations..

It’s like I have lost touch with what it means to work hard for something. To have your sights set on a dream and give it your all to achieve. You see, I have fallen into this mindset of life is good when things come easily. But when something is challenging and it requires hardwork and effort, I go running for the hills – not returning until a later date when it won’t take as much of my time and energy.

It’s pretty sad, but it’s the truth. I could sugar coat things and make myself seem like this glorious person, but what good does that do?

The truth is, I thought this would be easy for me. When I started this blog, I was so excited! I was ready to share my thoughts and journey with you all, and ultimately bring others to know Christ. But then I realized how much time and effort goes into making sure my posts are done on time and are being shared on social media. In addition to making sure that I am truly living the life that I sharing with you all…I started to feel discouraged because it wasn’t coming easily for me..

I’m not perfect and will never claim to be.

There are days when I miss my bible study. There are days when I fail to pray to God during the times that I should. I get frustrated. I get discouraged. And there are days when my spirit tank is running on E. But that isn’t God’s fault.

I thought because I wasn’t able to pump out a blog post in 20 minutes or less, I was failing. I was no longer inspired. God didn’t want to use me anymore.

All of these lies were flooding my brain and I believed every single one of them. And this ultimately led to a downward spiral which can be simplified to: it wasn’t coming easily for me so I should just run away from it. I was being a coward….

David & Goliath. A story most of us have known since we were children. This little tiny kid kills this big giant – all with this little, bitty stone. It was Philistines v. Israelites and Goliath was team Philistine. When he came out for battle he was rocking all this fancy, bronze armor – as if his height of 9ft wasn’t intimidating enough.  He walks out and shouts to the Israelites to send someone out to fight him. He wagers that if the Israelite can defeat him, then the Philistines will become their servants, but if the Israelite gets defeated by him then they will become the Philistine’s servants.

Yeah, I’m sure we would all go sprinting towards the chance to knockout some giant, right? NOT.

That’s exactly what happened. Saul and the Israelites got scared and knew that they would be defeated in a split second. Meanwhile David gets sent on an errand by his Dad and just so happens to walk up on the crowd that had gathered to see the showdown between Goliath and some brave soul. Fast forward a bit and David is telling Saul that he can defeat Goliath just like he defeated bears and lions protecting his sheep. Saul, lacking all faith in David, sends him to meet the beast. He attempts to put him in a set of armor but David is not quite big or strong enough to handle the extra weight so he tosses them aside and takes his sling and 5 stones to battle.

As you could guess Goliath is laughing to himself as David walks over to fight him. But this story is inspiring because David wasn’t discouraged. And he definitely wasn’t a coward. He knew that this wouldn’t be easy but he kept going – he never turned back. And the most inspiring part of it all comes in verse 47: “….for the battle is the Lord’s and he will give all of you into our hands”.

David was successful because he didn’t turn his back. He pursued the Giant and trusted in God to take care of the rest!

So now, as I find things that come up in my everday doings…I think to myself – if David can trust in God to help him defeat a 9ft Giant, I can trust in God to help me with my not-so-9ft Giants. If we put forth the effort, God will see it through. Whatever daunting, energy sucking, effort taking task we have in front of us that might be, in our opinion: discouraging, hard, or just down right not fun – give it to God for it is His battle and He will give all of that task into our hands. But we have to change our mindset from “this is too much work so lets just give up” to “this is going to be a lot of work but I know that God is in control”.

So I challenge you this week…face your giants. And I promise that I will too.

I hope that you found this post to be an encouragement and if you did, please share it with someone else! Spread the love and encouragement so that we can all be the light

XOXO,

Kat

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