How could this happen to me?

I had been injured before. I had played through the pain. But this was unlike anything else.

It’s the start of the season and I was in my element. Enjoying every minute of being back on the court. That was until the third set of our first home match on September 8th, 2015. I get thrown in the game and I am as anxious as can be. I finally get set the ball. I jump in the air ready to kill it. I make contact. and I land back on the ground.

All I will ever remember from that day is the intense popping I felt in my knee as my foot made contact with the ground. One. Two. Three pops and all I can think to do is fall backwards and scream in complete agony.

“You’re going to need your ACL repaired. You will be out for the rest of the season.”

Words I never expected to hear. Me? Needing knee surgery? But I have never had knee problems like that!

One excruciating surgery later and I am finding a new home at the physical therapists office. And I hated every minute of it. I hated the pain. I hated the crutches. I hated the scar that now covered the length of my knee on my right leg. I hated the fact that this happened to me. How could this happen to me? 

I sat at home and felt sorry for myself. And I cried. I cried out to God asking Him why He let this happen to me? And then I cried out to Him even more when I felt like He wasn’t answering me. I was angry.

I would get letters and get well soon cards with warm wishes for a “speedy recovery” and to “trust in God’s plan” but I couldn’t understand why I should trust His plan when He couldn’t even tell me why this happened in the first place?! This continued for months as I went to and from physical therapy, sat at home, watched TV, and shouted at God for letting this happen to me when things had been going so well!

I finally stopped yelling and I started grumbling. And then my grumbles turned into half-hearted prayers asking Him to take my pain away.

And then it clicked. He wanted my attention. But I had to stop running away from Him. His goal wasn’t to push me away. It was to pull me closer to Him so He could show me just how much I really needed Him. And I did..but not until Fall of last year.

I had still been having issues with my knee, had gone in for a second procedure, was still going to physical therapy, and had yet to find relief for my pain over a year later. Until one day I broke down. As tears streamed from my eyes, prayers poured out from my heart asking for God’s help. Asking for Him to heal me. Telling Him how much I needed Him.

I finally took my focus off of my pain and put it on Him. The one thing He was wanting me to do all along.

God doesn’t want us to focus on the things of this world…they are fleeting. But His kingdom is forever! Just like Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, when we focus on Him our spirit is being renewed each day even though we are growing older on the outside. We will go through trials but they are only momentary and have nothing on the eternal glory that is waiting for us! We simply have to stop focusing on ourselves and what is going with us in this world and put our focus back on God.

Now, I’m not saying that you should stop showing up to work or quit doing your homework assignments, but the emphasis we place on the newest iPhone or the cutest clothes or even the struggles that we have should be far less than the emphasis we place on God and His Kingdom. If we shift our focus, He will give us the strength to get through our troubles and He will provide our every need like Christ says in Matthew 6:33 “But first seek his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”..

I hope that my story was an encouragement for you and that you continue to seek God and His Kingdom no matter what season you may be in. Place your focus on Him and watch how your life transforms.. I would love to hear from you and how God used a difficult time in your life to pull you back to Him so make sure to leave a comment below! And don’t forget to subscribe so that you don’t miss another post!

Until next time..

Kat

Advertisements

It’s the Dawn of a New Day: Learn to Enjoy Your Mornings!

Disclaimer: I am not a morning person

Or at least I wasn’t until recently. I found that I had more stuff to do and less time during the day to do it, so I started getting up earlier in the mornings to try and accomplish it all. The first week was brutal. I thought about quitting this new venture of mine and going back to sleeping in until 30 minutes before class started. Trust me. I thought long and hard about that. But I told myself that since I’m not really one to stay up late and my productivity usually diminishes around 10pm, something had to give.

Now, let me just tell you that I am not one of those people who gets up at like 4am and has everything crossed off their to-do list by 9am. I set my alarm for 5:55am realistically knowing that I will be out of bed by 6:10am. I avoid the mirror at all costs at this time of morning because lets just be real: I am not Beyoncé, and I do not wake up flawless. However, once I am up and out of bed the first thing that is on my mind is COFFEE. Yes. You heard it here first, I am a caffeine addict and no I will not get help (sorry, Mom). Coffee has magical powers, plus the coffee cup my sister got me for Christmas is seriously s’cute.

_Coffee gets me started, but God keeps me going_

Let’s be real though. Coffee gets me started, but God keeps me going! Which is why I strive to do my devotional in the morning before I get started on other things. We should all have quiet time with God each day whether that’s 5 minutes or 30 minutes, but it should be done out of a true desire; not just another item to cross off our checklist. This is what helps me to get out of bed in the mornings. You know like when you were a kid and on Christmas morning you couldn’t wait to get up and go open presents because you were just so excited to see what Santa had brought you? (What am I talking about, I’m almost 23 and I still get like that).

But my whole point is, that is what my mornings have turned into! I crave Jesus in the mornings and I get so excited to see what new teaching is in store for me. I look forward to my quiet time in the morning because it really helps to set the tone for the day. When I was waking up right before I needed to leave for class I was rushed, looked a hot mess, and typically was in a grumpy mood. But now, after getting in my daily dose of Jesus in the mornings, I feel refreshed and ready to take on my day! So I grab my coffee, sit down with my Bible, and enjoy some quiet time with God. Right now I am reading my way through the Bible in a year so I am currently in Leviticus. In addition to my daily reading, I have really been enjoying the Redeemed Girls Ministry app which has numerous teachings on a variety of topics. I am currently going through the “My God is” series where each day is a new characteristic of God. The teachings are only 5 minutes but are packed full of inspiration!

Untitled design

In addition to my Bible study, I have really challenged myself to workout for at least 30 minutes before getting ready for the day. I plan on sharing my fitness journey with you all soon, but let’s just say working out consistently has been a serious struggle for me. It has been much better ever since I began scheduling my workouts in the mornings because I don’t have the opportunity to make as many excuses for myself. Now there have been a few exceptions here and there, but I have actually come to enjoy working out at this time. Jesus time + working out = me feeling unstoppable! Right now I have just been doing some at home workouts but they have definitely helped to keep me energized so that I can tackle my busy schedule.

Some of my favorite workouts have been from GymRa on YouTube. They are challenging but effective and they have a huge variety of workouts to choose from! The link to their channel is here. I highly suggest that you check them out if you are looking to switch up your fitness routine!

Once I am done with my workout and have gotten ready for the day, I begin to tackle my to-do list one item at a time. I find that by doing those few things beforehand help me to have a more positive outlook on the day which helps decrease those thoughts of “this is too much to get done” or “I am just so overwhelmed”. I have a daily planner that helps me to keep my days structured and what I really like about it, is that it has a portion at the top of each day where you can list your “Top 3”, or your most important to-do’s. I have found that once I have tackled those, I can move on to other things I have listed out for the week. This has really helped to keep me organized and focused throughout the day. Plus I just love that feeling of being able to go to bed knowing that I got everything done for that day. That gives me total satisfaction. The planner that I use can be found here or you can design your own the mini version here.

Once a hater and now a lover, I am living proof that mornings don’t have to be your enemy. I hope that you were able to gain some helpful tips from this post, and I would love to hear some of the things that you have implemented in your morning routine!

Make sure to like, share, and subscribe so you can have my posts sent directly to your email!

Now go out and be the light

XOXO